Oh Look, America’s Brand New Charity Case
Oh Look, America’s Brand New Charity Case: Let’s Hear It for the Venezuelans!
Do you ever wake up in the morning and think, “You know what America needs right now? A bunch of non‑deportable Venezuelans.” No? Me neither, but apparently, our oh‑so‑wise Supreme Court does. On April 18, 2025, the Court issued an unsigned emergency stay blocking further removals of Venezuelan migrants under the 18th‑century Alien Enemies Act—pending proper notice and judicial review. Of course, Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito had to play the Grumpy Old Men in dissent—guess they missed the memo on due process.
I guess they’re just better in tune with the pulse of America than us humble citizens. We’ll be looking back one day, pointing at this moment, saying, “That was it. That was the turning point. The Supreme Court embracing a geopolitical asylum of bubbly Venezuelans under the Alien Enemies Act.”
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Now our blessed judges have ordered the Trump administration to halt their deportation, at least for now. A front‑row seat to legal drama—incredible! Is there a popcorn stand somewhere around here?
Let’s rewind a bit and take a sip from the goblet of history to taste the Alien Enemies Act. It rests its origins on the antique desks of 1798—a time when folks were afraid of French immigrants influencing American politics. The same folks who oversaw The Alien Friends and Alien Enemies Acts, the very laws that allowed the president to imprison or deport aliens considered “dangerous to the peace and safety of the United States” at any time, albeit the Enemies Act technically applies only in wartime. Ah, delicious hypocrisy.
This was the era when we’d rather ship ’em back than risk having them stick around—a principle that held up nicely until, well, now. Today, it seems the taller your wig and the more extensive your frilly cuff collection, the more likely you are to decide the opposite approach is the way to go.
So, we were all just minding our own business when—BAM—like a bolt out of the blue comes a whole country‑load of Venezuelans waving a big “Please Don’t Deport Us” banner, and Uncle Sam’s like, “Sure, kiddo. Come on in, make yourself at home.” Apparently they didn’t even get a “You’re about to be deported” flyer in Spanish—ACLU to the rescue!
Suddenly, what was once an Act of balance and preservation has been flipped on its head, and our benevolent overseers have reached a verdict that generously gives a free pass to these oh‑so‑frail vulnerables. Don’t get me wrong—I love Venezuelans as much as the next human with a soul. But folks, what the Hell are we doing!? This isn’t a scene from an Oprah episode; this is real life.
And let’s be clear: this isn’t a victory lap—it’s a courtesy pit stop while the courts sort out who actually reads the fine print. So stock up on arepas and brush up on your Spanish, because America is now in the full‑blown charity business, and those golden gates have swung wide open… for now.
I can’t wait for what the Supreme Court cooks up next. Who needs reality TV when you’ve got politics? Grab your nachos and your rage‑face emoji—this legal telenovela is far from over. So, America: should we break out the salsa lessons or barricade the border? Sound off below!
Written By:
William Thomas
This isn’t rage—it’s truth with the volume turned up.
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