Tech is Getting Smarter. People? Not So Much.
What a time to be alive! Our fridges are smarter than most politicians, our cars talk to satellites, and Siri could probably pass the bar exam if she had fingers. We’re living the Jetsons’ dream—voice assistants, facial recognition, GPS doodads that can find the best grilled cheese within a three-block radius. And yet… somehow, the only thing not getting smarter in this digital utopia is us.
Let’s start with the new breed of medical professionals: TikTok doctors. Raise your hand if you’ve been held hostage by someone who thinks a two-minute video—shot in a bathrobe, under LED fairy lights—qualifies as a replacement for eight years of med school. Yeah, you. You know who you are.
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These DIY shamans love to start their videos with something like:
“Stop taking your dangerous medications! Cure your diabetes with positive thoughts and sunflower seeds!”
Because obviously, Big Pharma is just scared of the healing power of vibes.
And the scary part? People believe them. Hook, line, and algorithm. Or should I say: hook, like, and share?
Reality check: this is the same platform where people glue rhinestones to their eyeballs, do “aura cleansing” via microwave steam, and use personality tests based on cake preferences. So maybe—just maybe—it’s not where you should get your medical advice.
Then there’s the passive scroller crowd. You know them. You might be them. You’re 43 minutes deep in a digital rabbit hole watching an otter make espresso while your real-life child tries to show you their drawing. You’re not “relaxing,” you’re marinating in screen juice. Here’s a truth bomb for your retinas: your phone is not the sun, and your life shouldn’t orbit it.
Let’s not forget our good old dependence on GPS. Ever seen someone standing under the Eiffel Tower, furrowing their brow and muttering,
“Ugh, my GPS must be broken. It says we’re here…”
Yeah. You are here, genius. That giant iron thing above you? That’s not a cell tower. That’s history.
Enter Siri, sighing internally and saying, “You’re standing under the Eiffel Tower, you monumental doughnut.”
To all the smart tech out there: I apologize on behalf of human intelligence, or what’s left of it. Please remember our good intentions when the machines rise. We may be dumb, but at least we invented toaster strudel.
So next time you’re tempted to swap insulin for incense, or you’re deep-scrolling through celebrity drama while your own life rots on pause, take a beat. Technology is only as useful as the brain holding it—and lately, it’s been a pretty even match between iPhones and oatmeal.
In conclusion: We’re living in an AI-powered spectacle of mind-blowing innovation, but it’s time to ask—are we keeping up, or are we just devolving with better lighting?
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