Yard Waste: A Tale of Urban Horror
Well, folks. This is one for the books. Sounds like every terrifyng horror movie scenario you ever heard of, doesn’t it? Picture this: A quiet neighborhood in Bedford, someone’s peaceful day abruptly shattered when their gaze lands on an ominous black bag near a pole on their property. What vile secrets could this bag hold? A severed hand? Evidence of an alien invasion?
Wait for it…wait for it…
🔥 From the Spill By Bill Shop
Yard waste.
Yes, you read that right. Our brave and stoic local officers, after hastily responding to the scene of sheer terror, with their adrenaline pumping and nerves on edge, played the daring role of…gardening enthusiasts.
Now I wasn’t there, but I can just imagine the relief washing over our resident as they discovered that somebody’s trimmings from their Sunday afternoon hedge clipping spree had found its way to their land. Phew! Crisis averted, Bedford. You can now release that collective breath you were holding.
Remember, folks, not all heroes wear capes. Some wear latex gloves and handle compost bags.
Until next time, SpillByBill will be here, ripe and ready, to report on the drama-filled lives of the Bedford residents. And remember, you truly can’t make this shit up.
Pulled from the ever-trusty Bedford Police Blotter. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.
Written By:
William Thomas
This isn’t rage—it’s truth with the volume turned up.
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