Ah, love is in the air and so is the ominous cloud of birthday-induced exhaustion. Let’s dive into this fairy tale set in the glamorous realm of Upper West Side, Urban Jungle—a place where dreams are made and birthday celebrations are scheduled like corporate retreats.
So, picture this: a partner decides to stretch out his birthday like it’s a piece of taffy—ignoring that, just like that candy, it eventually gets sticky and unpleasant. A little happy hour here, a nice brunch there, and let’s not forget the pool party. Spoiler alert: the pool wasn’t even heated! Talk about drowning in disappointment.
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Now, on the actual birthday, what do we do? Of course, we go to his favorite restaurant. Not alone, oh no—this is a party! Let’s add 12 of our closest friends to the mix because nothing says “intimate celebration” quite like crammed tables and forgotten table manners. By this point, our heroine is teetering on the brink of an existential crisis, questioning her life choices amidst the clinking glasses and cries for more nachos.
And bless her heart, she busted out the chef hat for that pool party—only to serve food that wasn’t up to His Eternal Majesty’s standards. You’d think the food was sent from a faraway land, cursed by a witch! Cue the dramatic side-eye as he announces he’d rather be anywhere but at the birthday party where friends decorated and baked—aka, actual labor took place while he lounged like a sultan.
Naturally, our heroine had to remind him that this is not just about his royal whims but a collective effort by the minions—excuse me, friends—who sacrificed their weekends for this illustrious occasion. But wait, it gets better! He has the audacity to deem a fantastic trip—as the pièce de résistance—a “meh” birthday gift because, poor thing, it’s happening two days later. Clearly, his birthday calendar only allows for self-centered enjoyment on the day itself, while also conveniently forgetting about the trips he is about to take.
Is she the villain for calling this out as entitled behavior? Maybe. But it seems that, in the land of endless birthday celebrations, the real gift is the friendships we apparently don’t need to appreciate because, frankly, they can’t compete with his highness’s preferences!
So, let’s raise a glass to the art of over-birthdaying—because who doesn’t love to sweat their way through a lifetime of memories on one day? After all, birthdays don’t just come once a year; they can come in multiple installments of glorified brunches and obligatory poolside tantrums. Is it the birthday boy’s fault for being so selfish? Or is it just the dangers of love? You decide.
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Written By:
William Thomas
This isn’t rage—it’s truth with the volume turned up.
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