“WIBTAH for Telling My Husband His ‘Sleep Boundaries’ Shifted When We Became Parents?”
Welcome to the most riveting saga of our times: “The Bedtime Boundary Wars.” Grab your popcorn because this is a blockbuster in the making. Who needs reality TV when you have a couple navigating the treacherous waters of parenting and sleep schedules?
🔥 From the Spill By Bill Shop
Picture this: a couple living the European dream, with a baby, a part-time job, and what I can only assume is a giant clock ticking ominously in the background. Enter Brad, our protagonist, who, thanks to the wonderful combo of autism and ADHD, has decided that bedtime is not just a suggestion—nay, it’s a decree. He’s set his internal alarm for 11 PM, and woe betide anyone who dares to cross his sacred slumber threshold.
Now, let’s unpack this masterpiece of communication. Our heroine, let’s call her “You,” decides to ease back into work by teaching after the little cherub hopefully drifts into dreamland. Makes sense, right? Brad, with a riveting record of health insurance applications, is on board until—plot twist!—the baby doesn’t read the script, wakes up screaming, and suddenly it’s “Your problem now!”
So, what does Brad do as the clock strikes 11? Just emerging from a relaxing shower, he throws his own bedtime tantrum and takes a cool stroll around the house with the baby, leaving You to play the role of the exhausted superhero. I mean, why not? Who doesn’t want to perform midnight magic tricks keeping a tiny human asleep while simultaneously answering questions about the Pythagorean theorem from students across the globe?
And let’s be real; when he leaves for work the next day, you’d think he was marching off into battle with that “I’m upset” attitude. You hug, he doesn’t hug back, and we’ve officially entered the passive-aggressive zone. The only thing missing is a dramatic soundtrack.
Now, the big question on everyone’s mind: Should You have a stern chat with Brad? You know, let him know that perhaps, just maybe, bedtime is not a hard boundary in the chaotic realm of parenting? Or should she just accept that she’s now living in his world, where sleep times come before all else, and the baby’s cries are but a mere background noise?
All I can say is, if they ever make a reality show about this couple, I’m in. It would be pure gold. Who wouldn’t want to tune in to watch “Parenting Compromise: The Battle for Sleep”?
In conclusion, Brad, sweet summer child, it’s not just your bedtime that’s on the line here—it’s a delicate balance of sanity, sleep-deprived parents, and the ever-elusive concept of teamwork. Who knew bedtime could be so contentious?
— From the desk of an overly caffeinated expert in the “Everyone Needs Therapy” school of thought, coming live from the shady side of a Barcelona café, filed under “The Absurdities of Parenthood.”