I Need Coffee Before I Can Operate the Coffee Machine

There was a time when getting coffee at a gas station involved two steps. Pick up a cup. Pour coffee into it.

Apparently, that was too simple.

Now I’m standing in front of a machine with a touchscreen, making selections and waiting for it to grind beans and brew my coffee. The machine is doing more work than the old one did, which sounds like progress until you notice it has also assigned some work to me.

And here’s the problem: I haven’t had my coffee yet.

This is the part nobody seems to have thought through. Coffee is what I came here to get so I can make decisions and operate technology. Instead, making decisions and operating technology are now prerequisites for getting coffee. We’ve put the cure on the other side of the symptoms.

I’m not saying a touchscreen is difficult. I’m saying it has picked a terrible time to ask me anything. Before coffee, I don’t want to consider my options. I barely want to acknowledge that options exist. I want to put a cup under something, receive coffee, and become a person who can deal with the rest of the day.

To be fair, the freshly brewed coffee is nice. I can tell there’s a reason the machine grinds the beans and makes it on the spot. This isn’t a complaint that the coffee got better. The coffee can stay better.

It’s the little interview before the coffee that I could do without.

The old setup wasn’t glamorous. The coffee was already there, and you took some. It didn’t need to know what kind of morning you were having. It didn’t require your attention for longer than it took to keep the cup upright. Maybe that’s not sophisticated, but it showed a certain respect for the condition of the person standing in front of it.

Now the machine is ready to make me a fresh cup as soon as I finish telling it what to do. I understand the arrangement. I’d just prefer to have the coffee before I’m expected to participate in it.

I do miss the days when the coffee machine’s only question was whether I remembered to put a cup underneath it.