I mean, seriously?! Did I stumble onto a lost episode of the Twilight Zone or what? So, once again, I find myself at Dave’s Supermarket – yes, my favorite hotspot for baffling displays of poorly utilized manpower.

So, picture this: there are eight self-checkout counters arranged in two pleasing groups of four. All eight enticing us with their blissful absence of human interaction, their welcoming green lights blinking a rhythmic “come hither.” Perfect scenario, right? Well, it was, until the plot twist.

🔥 From the Spill By Bill Shop

Rant Mode On. Polo Rant Mode On. Polo
Price range: $28.50 through $34.50
My Truth Isn’t Waiting for Your Permission. My Truth Isn’t Waiting for Your Permission.
Price range: $40.00 through $45.00
I OFFEND, THEREFORE I AM. I OFFEND, THEREFORE I AM.
Price range: $40.00 through $45.00

Enter stage right, two human employees. Their sole mission, it appears, is to babysit us JOATs (Jack-Of-All-Trades chumps doing their own scanning, bagging, credit card swiping). Now don’t get your hopes up… their job wasn’t as intriguing as store detectives nabbing daring potato chip pilferers or chocolate bar burglars. No, they were simply reduced to becoming live security cameras, inspecting the integrity of shoppers’ scanning ethics.

Bothersome, isn’t it? Not just because I was silently judged for my excessive purchases of cereal or running my card three times until it finally works. No! More like, mystifying, dare I say, that the establishment had four entirely vacant cashier lanes screaming for attention. But, oh no, why would they put their resources where they’d actually make some impact, right?

Honestly, it’s like paying someone to watch paint dry when they could be…you know, painting! Is it just me or has Dave’s Supermarket not quite figured out how to optimize their check out process?

Oh, but what do I know? Maybe it really does take two to ensure the green beans get properly scanned. I mean, you really can’t make this shit up!

Written By:
William Thomas

This isn’t rage—it’s truth with the volume turned up.

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