Have you ever found yourself standing at the front of a queue, marinated in a delectable aroma of piping hot goodies, only to wrestle with the eternal question – why do they even bother taking your order? As you peruse the symphony of options before you, the world around you melts into the background and the chorus of “I’ll have…” and “one of those, please…” echo softly in your ears. Triumphantly, you step forward, your taste buds already salivating in anticipation.
You say it slow. You say it clear. Each syllable enunciated with the precision of a Swiss watch. Grammatically impeccable. Inflectionally perfect. Your chosen order, eloquently expressed with all due poise and dignity, as if delivering a Shakespearean soliloquy.
And they nod along like those bobblehead dolls you see on painfully expensive dashboards. “Okay,” the seemingly sentient creature in front of you says, with all the enthusiasm of a damp sponge. Stop. Suspense. Then there it comes – a scrambled copy-paste of your poetic presentation. A Picasso of mish-mashed words. “Got it,” they shout. Convincing? Absolutely not.
Picture this: you stride confidently towards the counter, assertive, aware of your dietary needs. You cast your order into the abyss, a single olive-tomato sandwich. And as the echo goes out into the void, it returns a distorted beast. Suddenly, you are met with a “Got it!” that heralds the arrival of your olive-tomato sandwich, plus a rainbow of half-a-dozen donuts. How flattering, but utterly baffling!
Thanks, but no thanks. The surprise bundle is more an assault on sense than a gracious gesture. I mean, yay for the freebies, but isn’t the point of asking for an order, I don’t know, to actually give the customer what they specifically ordered? Evidently, in this relentless saga that appears to be an order-take-fail-repeat routine, somewhere between my mouth and your ears, reality decided to pop out for a smoke break.
Oh, the audacity! To take our delicately crafted orders, mulch them up, and spit out an absurdly carnival version. Yet, we behold the spectacle with quiet amusement. You gotta give ‘em props for the confidence though. The loud, proud declaration of “Got it,” when clearly they don’t “got it.”
Ladies and gentlemen, in the grand theater of life’s absurdities, this daily drama holds, perhaps unassumingly, a prime place. We live to (erroneously) order another day, with our spirits unbroken, tummies half-filled, and a bag of donuts (!!) in our hands. Brace yourselves, the order is coming! And it’s nothing like what you asked for.
Written By:
William Thomas
This isn’t rage—it’s truth with the volume turned up.
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