Rant Room

Oh look, another company swapped its entire “support team” for a perky chatbot that can’t distinguish a shipping delay from a solar eclipse—because nothing says “we value you” like being trapped in an endless loop of digital jazz hands. At this point, I’d get better answers yelling my tracking number into an empty Pringles can.

Why is it that we're tech-savvy enough to create self-driving cars, yet still struggle to invent a printer that doesn't jam at every given opportunity?

Why do they still call them apartments when they're all stuck together?

Why did society deem it perfectly acceptable to eat a pizza covered in pineapple, but rather scandalous when you pour milk into your bowl before the cereal?

Why do they call it 'rush hour' when nothing actually moves?

For once, something went right. The One Big Beautiful Bill is set to be signed July 4th — and honestly, it’s about time. It’s not perfect, but it delivers where it counts: real relief, solid reform, and a signal that maybe — just maybe — we’re getting back on track.

Politics used to be shady — now it’s practically scripted. Every “breaking news” alert feels like a rerun from a network that can’t decide if it’s reporting facts or auditioning for an Emmy. One side screams “truth,” the other yells “fake,” and somewhere in between, the actual facts are duct-taped to a tweet with zero context. We’ve got politicians quoting memes like scripture, reporters spinning narratives before the dust even settles, and fact-checkers fact-checking each other while the public just doom-scrolls into oblivion. And let’s not forget the headlines: “SHOCKING BOMBSHELL” turns out to be a three-week-old story reworded for rage clicks. But sure, keep shouting “Democracy dies in darkness” while cashing ad revenue on fabricated outrage. At this point, fake news isn’t a glitch — it’s a feature. And the real scandal? People are too tired to care.

Tuned into MSNBC this morning and wow—nothing says ‘unbiased journalism’ like watching the same five talking points bounce around louder than a bumper-car derby. It’s like they hired a conspiracy theorist, a focus-group specialist, and a teleprompter with commitment issues—and called it a day.

Fantastic—my phone battery dies faster than my New Year’s resolutions. Maybe next time I’ll just carry my charger in my charger bag and my charger bag in my backup charger bag. Living the dream!

Democrats make "progress" sound like a new app update—promising change but leaving your phone slower. In politics, they're like that awkward dance partner who never leads; they just step on toes, rearranging furniture in a burning house.