My Coffee and Muffin Now Come With a Tip Decision

I went through a Dunkin drive-thru for my morning coffee and a muffin. That's the whole plan. Order, pay, collect food, leave. It should take less thought than putting on shoes.

I pulled up, placed my order, and handed over my card. So far, we were doing great. Then the card reader got turned around and handed back to me.

“Please select an option.”

For what? Did my coffee come with a warranty?

No. The screen was asking for a tip. I ordered a coffee and a muffin through a window, and now the card reader wanted me to review the financial terms of the relationship.

Look, I'm not against tipping. I tip when tipping makes sense. But I didn't sit down, get table service, or ask anybody to perform a delicate operation on the muffin. I ordered it. Somebody handed it to me. That's not a complaint about the person working the window. They're doing their job. My complaint is with a process that sticks an extra decision between me and breakfast.

And the timing is what makes it so awkward. You haven't even got your food yet. It's right there, somewhere on the other side of the window, while you're staring at a tip screen. I don't actually think anyone's doing something to a muffin over a skipped tip. Still, it's a weird moment to ask, with the handoff apparently waiting on your answer.

The muffin has entered negotiations.

I don't know what the employees at that location make. Maybe it's $14 or $15 an hour, maybe it isn't. I'm not going to pretend I saw a payroll sheet through the drive-thru window. What I do know is that customers are being asked to add a tip to a routine fast-food order, and the request is being made while they wait for the order to be handed over. That's a hell of a spot to put everybody in, including the employee who has to stand there while I make eye contact with a screen.

Imagine asking an associate at Target where the coffee filters are. They point you toward an aisle, then pull out a card reader and wait while you decide what that information was worth. Five percent for directions? Ten if they walk you there? Do I owe more if the filters are actually in stock?

I don't know whether this is just that Dunkin location or something happening at others. I'm not claiming there's a company-wide muffin-tipping initiative. I do know I won't be going back to that location while this is how the transaction works. If it turns out to be the standard setup everywhere, I can make coffee and breakfast at home.

Which, come to think of it, might be the first useful option that card reader has offered me.