Two New Tires and a Free Argument About My Lug Nuts

I bought two new tires for the back of my car. The shop gave me a price, I said okay, and I drove off a few hundred dollars lighter. That should have been the entire story. Tires on car. Car goes places. Everybody gets on with their life.

The next morning, one tire was low. I pumped it up and went about my business. The morning after that, low again. So I went back to the shop, because I had a pretty good idea which end of the car the problem was on.

First thing they asked: Did I have a nail in it?

How would I know? The tire was losing air. That was the information I had. If I could diagnose the leak myself, I wouldn't be standing in a tire shop describing it to people with tire equipment.

Then the owner came over and told me four of my lug nuts were loose.

Well, that's interesting, because this was the shop that had just put the tires on. I pointed that out. He argued that somebody was probably trying to steal my tire.

My tire. Off a 2001 Toyota Corolla.

I'm not saying nobody has ever stolen a tire off an old Corolla. I'm saying it's a hell of a theory to reach for while the customer is standing there with a tire you installed yesterday. He insisted they would never leave the lug nuts loose. I didn't know how they got loose. I did know I hadn't touched them, and I hadn't come back for a debate about the Corolla tire theft market.

Eventually, I said fine, whatever. Can we fix the leak?

The guy took the tire off and found the valve stem was leaking. Not a nail. The valve stem. So I asked why that hadn't been checked when I bought the new tires.

He said they don't check or replace those because of the sensors in them.

Dude. It's a 2001 Corolla. There are no sensors in those valve stems. This car is old enough that you can hear its feelings directly through the steering wheel.

He said they could put a new valve stem in for $20. Twenty more dollars to stop my new tire from becoming a morning air-pump appointment. Then came the question of whether I wanted it replaced or not, as if I might choose to keep the leak for sentimental reasons.

I said yes. He fixed it, I paid the $20, and I went home wondering if I'd bought tires or walked into an episode of The Twilight Zone.

Then I noticed they hadn't even put a cap on the new valve stem.

Maybe somebody was trying to steal that, too.