The Package Arrived. The Emails Are Still Coming.

You order a pack of batteries online. The store sends an email confirming that you ordered the batteries.

Fair enough. It’s good to know the order went through.

Then comes another email saying the order is being prepared. Later, one says it shipped. Another announces that it’s out for delivery. At some point you may get a message inviting you to track it, which is helpful if you’ve lost track of all the messages telling you where it is.

This is a lot of correspondence for batteries. You’ve had less communication from people you actually know.

I understand the useful part. If a package is delayed or dropped off somewhere strange, an update matters. But every normal step of the process doesn’t need its own announcement. “Your order is being prepared” tells me almost nothing. I assumed somebody would prepare it. That seemed like a necessary part of selling it to me.

Then the package arrives, and you get the delivery email. Good. Case closed.

Except now the store wants to know what you thought of the batteries.

They’re batteries. They went into the thing that needed batteries, and the thing turned on. If they fail, I’ll have an opinion. Right now the most honest review I can offer is “No further contact required.”

The review request may be followed by a reminder, as though you’ve been putting off an important responsibility. Somewhere a system is waiting for your thoughts on four AA batteries, and I hate to leave it hanging.

The odd part is how much work this creates at the other end. You make one purchase, then spend the next several days deciding which messages are worth opening, which can be deleted, and whether the one titled “Important Update” means something went wrong or merely that the box has moved from one building to another.

None of this is a disaster. The emails take seconds to delete. That’s what makes it such a strange arrangement. The store has built a little administrative process around buying a small object, and you’re expected to manage your half of it.

The batteries are already in the drawer. The store would still like to know how they’re doing.