In the sterile glow of the supermarket self-checkout, a machine scolded me today. As I shuffled a misbehaving item, it barked a mechanical rebuke, treating my slight adjustment as high treason. There, under the cold, flickering lights, I was a suspect in silicon eyes.

Monday rolls in with its usual flair for the dramatic. One of my employees called off sick today — or as I like to think of it, the universe’s way of reminding me that I, too, can survive a Monday slightly understaffed and overcaffeinated. Here’s to unexpected solo missions and the art of juggling without a net.

Stepped into the grocery store for some turkey lunchmeat, and nearly dropped my basket when I saw the price tag—$13 a lb! At those prices, I half expected the turkey to thank me personally for purchasing its artisanal, gold-infused slices. Guess it’s peanut butter and dreams for lunch again.

Green light, but the maestro in front is conducting a symphony on his smartphone. A gentle honk, less a rude interruption, more a friendly reminder that reality still exists outside his 5-inch screen. Wake up, Picasso, paint the town with your accelerator, not your thumbs.