I Ordered a Sandwich, Not a Search of My Car

I went through the Dunkin drive-thru at 6:30 in the morning for a drink and a sandwich. That was the whole plan. Pay, collect breakfast, leave. A beautiful little system, assuming nobody decides the bag on my front seat needs to be investigated.

I got to the window, paid, and the guy handed me my drink. Then he came back looking confused and asked if I’d ordered a donut.

Nope. Sandwich. He checked the screen and seemed to find it right there, where sandwiches generally go when somebody orders one.

Fine. Morning mix-up. I’ve barely got my own name running at 6:30, so I’m not expecting anyone else to operate like air traffic control. But then he came back to the window, looked into my car, and asked about the white bag on my front seat.

Now we’re doing bag identification at the drive-thru.

It was an old bag. I reached over, crumpled it, and told him so. He said, “Oh,” handed me my food, and off I went.

The bag had been cleared to remain in my car.

It didn’t really hit me until I was driving away. Hold on. Was he hesitant to hand over my sandwich because he thought I already had one? Did that white bag look like evidence of an unauthorized second breakfast?

I don’t know what he thought, and I’m not saying he accused me of anything. But I’d just paid at the window where he was standing. He had my order on the screen. He was in charge of handing me the bag. I was in my freaking car. What was the theory here, that I reached through the drive-thru window, stole a sandwich, put it on the passenger seat, and then stuck around to ask for another one?

That’s a lot of criminal ambition before sunrise, especially for a sandwich I’d already paid for.

And what exactly was I supposed to do if the old bag had contained something? Submit a receipt for every object visible through the window? I came for breakfast, not a vehicle inventory. The sandwich was on his side of the building. The suspicious white bag was on mine. Those are two different bags. That should have wrapped up the investigation.

I wish I’d been more awake, because there was a smart-ass comment sitting right there. But at 6:30, my brain had only enough power to crumple a bag and say it was old. The good comeback didn’t arrive until later, which is useful only if Dunkin offers a delayed-response window.

So yes, I got my breakfast. Nobody was harmed. But I did have to establish that the bag in my own car wasn’t the sandwich he hadn’t given me yet.

Next time I’ll make sure the front seat is empty. I’d hate for a napkin to hold up my drink.