Well, butter my biscuits and call it a day, we’ve got another classic case of “he said, she shoved” on our hands! This circus unfolded right on our favorite mischief lane, Rockside Road, at the oh-so-ungodly hour of 1:01 p.m. during which any straight-thinking fella would be munching on lunch rather than handling wayward whips, don’t you think?
Here’s how it went down: our gallant repo man let’s call him Bob, short for Bob-the-boulder-who-cried-wolf reported to the local fuzz that he’d been given quite a push while trying to make a certain 4-wheeled beast return from its loaner vacation. Earth shattering, ain’t it?
Now, if this were a Hollywood movie, upon seeing our sturdy knight Bob being subjected to such dastardly rude gestures, the officers would storm in and make the villain pay dramatically. But, alas, this plot twist would make even M. Night Shyamalan roll his eyes.
The boys in blue, being quite familiar with the pantomime Bob inadvertently seems to play the main clown in, took a gander at the situation and made a shocking discovery. Brace yourselves, dear readers. They found drum-roll please no assault had occurred. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Imagine the disappointment; it’s like opening a beer can and finding it empty.
So what could they do? They are cops, not therapists and Bob obviously needed the latter more than the former. They pacified our misplaced hero gently with some legal jargon the meeting of “civil” and “nature” were tossed about rather liberally. Let’s pray Bob sticks to repossession and not play-acting next time, yeah?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to recover from this assault… to my intelligence.
