In the heated asphalt jungle of Columbus Road. and Adams Street, where the concrete is cold and the egos are colder, a pre-pubescent kerfuffle kicked off at exactly, oh, I dunno, quarter past five. It was a universal call to arms or rather, tiny limp arms as our brave and undeniably underpaid keepers of the peace got a call about a juvenile-style showdown set to rock the local parking lot.
Now, hold onto your hats for this one, folks turns out this cataclysmic clash wasn’t about drugs, turf or a bitchin’ trading card collection. No, this was the result of a “personal disagreement.” Good gracious, I do believe one of these pre-teen titans must’ve disagreed over who’s got the bigger collection of pimples, or who’s voice is beginning to squeak in all the wrong places.
Anyhow, our brave uniformed nannies arrive on the scene to find not one, but two packs of pouty punks posturing in the parking lot. But fear not, this story ends without a single patriotic tear shed. Our officers performed a veritable miracle of diplomacy, prying apart the feuding factions and serving up some stern advice “Play nice now, kiddos!”
And lest you worry about any lingering resentment among these young hooligans, rest assured the parents have been advised to call the boys in blue should any more hormonal hijinks occur. Yeah, that’ll solve it.
Stay classy, Columbus Road. and Adams Street, you’re a regular Wild West for the under five foot set.
Written By:
William Thomas
This isn’t rage—it’s truth with the volume turned up.
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